Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 40, Number 6, 1 June 2023 — Helping a Grandmother Rebuild Her 'Ohana [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Helping a Grandmother Rebuild Her 'Ohana

V E 'ONIPA'A KAKOU ^ ^ BE STEADFAST "

By David ūnoue Re u n i t i n g kamali'i with their birth parents or a family ! member from foster i care ean be long and arduous. For Tūtū

Jackery, the process of uniting her twin grandsons with their 'ohana started before their birth. "The language, eultural barriers, and the prejudice, all of that was being fired at me," Tūtū said. "I thought I was crazy." To help her through this process, EPIC 'Ohana contacted Lili'uokalani Trust (LT), partners in the Ka Pili 'Ohana (KPO) program. KPO is a community-based, eulturally grounded program designed to achieve better outcomes for Native Hawaiian kamali'i in foster care. It's a collaboration between Child Welfare Services (CWS), LT, EPIC 'Ohana, and various community partners. After hearing about Tūtū's story, LT social worker Yuki Lei Tanaka-Pabo met with her at her home in Wai'anae and explained what LT could offer, such as the Queen and her values, along with a safe, nurturing space for her and the 'ohana to rebuild. Tanaka-Pabo will never forget the importance of 'ohana to Tūtū. "That

was her goal," she said. "She wanted to restore and rebuild the relationships with her 'ohana." Tūtū recalled numerous occasions when the information she received was not pono and could have caused her to lose her grandsons. But LT was at her side to explain things to her in a way she understood. It took years for the adoption of her grandsons to be finalized, complicated by the fact that there were two fathers and one mother, in addition to the resource caregiver (foster parent). There were divisions and eommunication issues, causing situations to escalate. "We eannoī do this," she said, tears rolling down her eheek. "I cannot because I ean imagine their foster momma crying for them. How ean this happen? This is not pono. So, I asked for a ho'opono session from LT." With encouragement ffom the ho'opono team at LT, Tanaka-Pabo facilitated two sessions, onee with the resource caregiver and onee with one of the twins' fathers, to make things pono. The ho'opono process includes Kūkulu Kumuhana - finding out what is wrong, pule (prayer), kūkulu kumuhana (statement of problem), mahiki, mihi/ kala/oki, and pani. "They love these babies," Tūtū said. "They took care of these babies, but something went break." And through ho'opono, both parties opened the lines of communication to allow for a two-

mākua (parent) relationship. Tūtū happily reported that they now celebrate the twins' birthday together. "If Lili'uokalani Trust didn't eome in, I don't think I would have my grandsons the way I have them now," she said. ■ David Onoue is the manager for communications and marketing at Lili'uokalani Trust. He was born and raised in Honolulu and holds a master's degree in magazine, newspaper, & online journalistn from the S.I. Newhouse School ofPublic Communications at Syracuse University.

Tūtū Jackery and the twins with Liliu'okalani Trust's Yuki Lei Tanoko-Pabo. - Photo: (ourtesy of Yuki Lei īanaka