Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 33, Number 10, 1 October 2016 — The Aloha Spirit --Politeness, Hospitality [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Aloha Spirit --Politeness, Hospitality

By Claire Ku'uleilani Hughes, Dr. PH„ R.D. There was no match for Hawaiian hospitality in the old days. The weleoming "aloha" was always sincere and pleasant. Back then, Hawai'i's environment was uncluttered, relaxing, balmy and moderate with many scenic vistas to behold. Hawai'i's beaches were elean and uncrowded. The oeean was sparkling...and elean. Tourists mainly relaxed on the heaeh and enjoyed evenings dining by the sea - and no one bothered them. Based on the "aloha spirit"

and its beauty, Hawai'i heeame a preferred destination for many wealthy tourists, who returned repeatedly. The aloha spirit was standard practice in the Hawaiian community. Elders used respect, kindness and gentle conversation when greeting strangers, never prying and always offering comfort and refreshment. Kawena Pukui explains that in early Hawai'i, upon seeing any stranger passing by, a Hawaiian would say, "Aloha e ka malihini. E hoi kākou i kauhale e 'ai ai!" (Hello, newcomer. Come, let us go home, rest and eat.) The passerby could accept or decline the invitation. Never during the encounter did the host pry into the stranger's business or origin. The host used an indirect comment of the obvious, "You have walked a distance in the sun." The stranger could share more about himself, or not. The host and his wife acted,

using cultural norms, offering comfort and refreshment. "Come inside, sit down and rest until your weariness is gone, then have something to eat." It was polite. Food was offered, with a softly urgent, "E 'ai (eat)." Mrs. Pukui explained it was never polite to say, "Hungry? Perhaps you will like something to eat." These words could embarrass the guest and hint reluctance on the host's part. When we moved to O'ahu from Kaua'i, I noticed my mother smiled and nodded at strangers as we walked in downtown Honolulu. I asked, "Why?" (We had no sidewalks and knew everyone walking in our old neighborhood.) She explained that it is important, and polite, to acknowledge the presence and existence of others when you see eaeh other. My father would eall across the street to people he knew. He'd whistle the "family whistle"

to uncles and cousins he spotted up ahead. And, we'd stop and chat with old pals. It was an exciting, social experience with him. Smiles and waves were standards in my childhood. Now, about a hundred years since Waikiki heeame a tourist spot, Honolulu city and its people have changed. . .a lot! There are no smiles or acknowledgements between passersby, and more disappointing, it is probably not welcomed nor safe. Hawaiian parents spent mueh time teaching their children acceptable behaviors, as guests and hosts. We got "crash-course reminders" before arriving at a home without children (it was difficult not to get bored). Remember, "Yes, please, and thank you"; "Smile and answer questions nicely"; "don't touch anything" and "Finish every bit of food served to you" (sometimes that was difficult). My mother told of "tests" to determine if you were hō'oio (prideful). Sometimes a host will do something like serve you lumpy poi (usually, that indicates

hurried or careless preparation). If you ate around the lumps, leaving them at the bottom of the bowl, you would miss the fact that they were actually little bits of dried fish or squid (that's 'ono). We learned how to serve guests and to prepare for visiting family members and other overnight guests. All these tales were told so we would try really hard to measure up to standards of Hawaiian hospitality. Mueh has changed today. Tourists eome in huge numbers by jet planes-full. The welcoming "aloha" is often yelled at them. Busloads of visitors overrun scenic spots, testing the residents' pahenee. There are far, far too many homeless people polluting streams and waterways with their waste. And, sewage spills! ! ! Auē, auē! We need to remember how we were kinder to eaeh other. Smile and aeknowledge others on the sidewalks and in stores! Call and wave to pals across the street. These are the pleasantries of life that are free and give us a lill' ■

j MO'OMEHEU ^ > CULTURE /