Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXVI, Number 5, 28 Mei 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is ofii>n Jt>r ioniributions. īj you have a good\ gag, sehd it in and ue u ill pnblish it, and give your name the ] credit. —Koko-Nuts. j

(Counesy Ililo Tvil>une Herald> ,\'pver tell evil of a man if you ilo »ot know ii for a eevtainty, then usk yourself, "Wliy should I tell it —C'ontributed. liut a lot <>r' folks .arouml hore take pleas»re lil doi»g it, jūst the sam<'. At least one United States senator is throwving a lot of Pepper in Hitler's eyes. DESERT POME NO. 114 Across the Kau desert Witlks a fello\v uaitied Stuuipy ; l'refers walkinp to riding, The road is so bumpy. FOR ECONOMY Thte one for this eolumn eame in yesterday from a HUo Scotsman. A Scotchman married an ac< tress. He was discussina his bride's merits with his mother. "Can she sew and oook and dae the hoosework?", demanded the mother. "No," said Josk, she eanna." "What ean she dae then?" '•Oh, mither, she's a grand sing- - er!» . "A singer! Why did ye not buy a canary?" SEZ WAIAKEA WILLIE

"One of the things a man can't nnderf:tantl is \vliy lns enemies seem lo liave so man> friends." Foolish Question No. 10110; Do you thir»k the war wiJ! spread any furth?r? Another badJy needed iavention i « a rubber fender for uutotm>biles lhat will a\itomHtieally straiybten 1 ?elf after it bas l»een dented by ;uiother ear. When the last bunch of troops arrīved here from Oahu, Wanda Waffieiron, the belle of Waiakea, satuted a truck dr{ver. She thou(jh he was a general beoause she read the stgn on the truck, "Generai Hauiino." ARMY POEM The eaptain eried, "Cease sJiooting, plea^e,"' But oouidn't stop the chaps. Hfs men were National Guardsmen And they were stnxiting eraps! YOU*RE RiGHT, SISTER, THEY WERE HESS-iANS

Lfttle Streamllne«, the front offtee braīn tru«l, *ay« thi« man Hew must bc a he*daeh« to thc BHtlsh, be«au«e »om« of hlt *«}. di«rs madc 4 lot of tr-oubl« for the American« in 1776, WRONG iMPRESStON Thts nue iB!M fJKHM & IloU§elot n^»ident Th*> lnis « as wrj as St |*WIKhI t*< :t s«,on th«> ww w.ui.i'M'ine whorv lhcrt- woahi N 1 nwni for Uuone. Th«r dri\er. umihH* to s«x? wJwslu»r aH whv» tv> s>>t Uad Bfjor j» r*NiSKmahle vf inw. vailo,S <»ut Kv*>r>lHHlv m r "iioM <*<C" & f«nttnitie oloe, uini! i trpt niy dcth«s ok." The WiTiiv h«* oi }ia«Koujjor> rr*n«- ( ! n«vk» cxiVi un<!) u

girl j;ot 011 carrying a l)asket of lauudry.—KĪ)JlA Xe\v&. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS w, MoBt of our troubtes eome from cock-surert66s amona the know-it-aUs and cotd feet, among really intelliaent." A kamauina is <»ne who ean renHM«l)or when it was a cat ou the back aml not the neighbor*s ratlio» that kepf him awake at night. And there's the Hilo woman who says that there is nothinjj sweeter in the house than hubby's voice singing while he washes the dlnner dishes. Postcard reoeived from a friend on vaoation in Honoiulu: "Having a }:rand vacation. Wish it \vas paid for." Hats off to the Waiakea man who is trying to perfect a carpet that will beat itself when hung , out on the line in the back yard. | "Wrinkles are a sure sign of āge on everything except prunes, raisi«s, trousers and autouiobiie feuders," says Atfred Mattos, the smHiug windo\v office clerk at the HHo post office. AYE, 'TIS NAE FAiR TO THE BCOTS Semebody switched Sandy Mc- ' Pherson's picture in this eolumn fast week, and put Slr Marmaduke Huckspittle's in its plaee, and Sandy is so mad that he has written a poem, in whleh he hints briefly at the superiority of the Scots over the Enoiiah in this manner: There will a!ways be an England, As long at Scotland'a there To giv« the Navy shelter, And the brunt bf air raids bear. Ther« wiH always be an EngSand As long as Scotsman ftght, Afeng We!sh and lrish, To «ave Auld Eng!and's might. There ar« ScoUmen al! In khakl, Thert are Scots In airforce blus, You ll flnd th«m in the navy, Whh m« Wci«n *na lrish, too. S© wfie« they sfne of Eng!and And E«g!!«h in the fight They're forgettin' all the others Who save Au!d England's mlght. ! IVe naoght agalnst the Eng. I ii«h, J But it hurts me quite a !ot i To see one ln your eolumn I Belng pictured as a Scot. | BULL-ETIN

! "I sure enJojed thē blackout. I wish th«»j woukl have īheiu ofteuer." "L*oendary: Onee upon * tim« 1 there was s man vtho helped him- [ *#»f to wme of ht» «mplo/w'a mo I ««jr, «nd «P«nt it all on his e*w | T««¥ STARTEO IT was m the in s(aUm*M plan. Thi? IHlgrim t*di. '«* WW 10 ft»r tWtr tMtsaage to thf uevr wurUl An4 tWr d?so6tt«iants *rv stiU h«si&* BWsā o» the «aaew» p?«n, But the f«ilōw ft ho Srsi uaanni ii thi> j»ayHMMU \vas v«rj , t w lth hig v*'s. j JAPANtSt PUAN£SPATROk j HSINKINQ ARi.A,— j Thit wuit gtvc th« po i p«t«M a r«thtr H*inking wuiia j t*«l. j Uf«'« Mom«ot; \Ytae j , v 'Hi arv tsriviu£ &hms. maU vvu ■ a wt't nlfht aiul you eatū tlsurv |

whte& of the «piitva<hlag c&r*s headlights isa't buniiiij{. WuulOu'i «Iw you 8 heaaavtic : HOUSEHOLD HINT How td avoid g«Hing out of the ! bathtub to answer th« teic * phem#.— 1 Stick your head compieteiy un- 1 der the water. jf the Uiephone j *to|»s bef«m you »top , breathtno» you .win. ,j Aa a»sstem sclentist io\e! is a fwui of druttkeumwsk MeUW J I I'U'* * iuuu eau v»ver a dfuuk » | iii a u \\ ilv>urs, j I °* y«u>« h»4f4 »h«t'« i I l»*PP*ncd to «II th« a«y» wlio t I *i«d t» u clo«k.Uk*tci>«r*. 1 They'r» in th« *rmy now, «4 & u . j | ō'e H*tefl«r*,-~Ai-nx> L*fl»v tVrr<\ t ihSs s t HUvnuv. Out o£ iu> ?21 a unmih artuj pss \ s*v« st !<sast iiulf o! IL j WHERE CAN W£ fiORHOW 'i 150,000? |