Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXVI, Number 1, 30 ʻApelila 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Thi.s eolumn is opvn for contri' lions. If you have a g>H>tl gag, send it in and ive ivill publish t, and gii r y<>ur name the, credi(. —Koko-!\'uts. j

(<Jourtesy Ililo Tribune lIorald) An anti-r;>dio rtdvertis4ii»g as?ooiāiion has bēen AiiMiieO in ihe Its ohject is tt> oliniinatc advertising from radio prosrrums. Wlueh prōTes that iu spite of Uie wai', the \vorld īs sti!l niaking proirivss and thut tliere are some inteingent i>eople living in it yet, FORCE OF HAB|T

Little Streamlines, the office niekel grabber f Is so used to receivinfl nickels over the counter that she absent mindedty lifted a eouple from the collection p!ate at ehueh last Simday. And was her face red when she realized what she had done. Judglng by tlie si>eed of Uie latest Gerniau invask>n, the Nazi tanks have beeu v» ei! DESERT POME NO. 111 Whlle crosftitig the desert Bhe got a bad scare; The mo«aoose6 h« saw She thouQht was a bear. OEKMAN ARMY lIAS TAKEN MlN.—Ne\vspapor headliue. •'Oh, Min!" No, d«arie, all the nuts*do not com« fr<vn Coconut is!and, but we notice there ts a vast number of thera th*re on Suriday after- ' noon«C* Faml lrmu ihe baiii3 Was Johunie Q. Moon; He never n>uld keep His peek lioni in tune. Now Hitler says he is Qoing to knoek the tar T>ut of Gibral- tar. Wanda Waffeiron, tlie Uelle of Waiakea, says slie can't why those Cornian Pansy regimtnits? (•aii'l be stoi.>ped in their udviuue*. She says tlie.v tnust l>e tlie llowoe of ihe Geriuany arn.iy. Befieve it or not, but an autoist actua!ly found a parkina space on Keawe St. yesterday that dtdri*t have No Parking sign tn it. 1941 suitile: As completely forgotten as es-Kinij €arol of Kuuia-, nia. I TOO MUCH LOSS j Sandy McPherson has quit | playinfl solitaire. The other niflht he lost $25 to hi,mself. 1941 fable: The Inter-Island tieup didu"t iucoarenience me in the least. FORD FORSEES REAL PROS , PERlTY.—Newspaper headiirve. , Veah, fot Ford! j SAD STORY i Ott a hoiipilal cx>t j L4es duuib Percy Rand j i»ade a QUick turn, j stick out liis hani j SOURPUSS SAM SAYS: ! who went in «wimmina ! 85 years ago dressed iike Mother Mubbard, but the mermaids of thl» d«y and ase dress like Mcth- , er Hubbard'a cupboard." . Ilitler he is r or j ihe right. At (iie ra(c lie is j <K»mihg smnil couMries thcrv > *>r. , wou"t bo aiiy Icf(. | Another needed īnvenlicn ts a , *»*«pho«e that won*t before ' f *.m. nor *ft«r 11 pjm. | IT PUTS T«E "CUSS" iN "US" Aiwrditii; 10 a tßnv< iLem. liie f l*d!o ean r\iusl»iy be ( r> Wi eiii. ihiuk o} - ' roun,l; ** thin.es thnt thai tc csll u, wheu ( w» Hi>f (V>rvvd to Ust**a to sc.mc - "ttKMlrru" pro£r&ius, j M«dem v*r*lon; You ean iead ' to v»ater, if you c*n find j • I»WW tcme v*ater. ,

Ai. .1 there's the llilo woman who sent aer hushand do\vn towu for a jutr of vinegar and he eame back orocke<i. BULL-ETIN

"When l'm on a stiip, I nev«r Bive the v»aiter less than a twoaoitar tip."

A itigh iuiiking l'. oil'ieiai sfnys thorc aie liuinieeān oi' tliousands of a>tiiea ia Uiis cuuniry. i.httse uo uot iaeluiie uioiher-»iu-iaw, the wite's eousiuis and uiuu&rrieu sisters., aud the neishbors, how- ■ ever. JUST RiGHT FOR A MEAL j Vera Wett, the Reed's Bay giamor giri, was looking throuflh her clothes closet yesterday and found a moth where her bathing suit was supposed to be. A suaail town is a plai*« where a muu s neighbors ruslt to tell his tti£e how lie has beeu cutting up whiie she was away oii her vacation. » tt takes three miliion pounds | of sausaaes to feed the German j army for one day.V That's a lot i of baloney. 1 SEZ WAIAKEA WiLLIE i

? "Oiio ;vdvantage in owninu ;i ' car Is tliat tlie \vife i ' |drive Sunduy School class hoiue iu it." I I . I ' A loeal capltātist says with moI ney you ean do anythinjj. Bct he ! can't make hair grow with it. And tlK>re's the Hilo youtli wlio P>t « oas?e ou the Oauiliiei', \ w !ij;od hcr tji>c. I scotch\>oke Sent in by a frlend from Wainaku: The Minister; "Good mornin r Mistress MacSavage, awm hopin' 1 see ye weel. Could ye spare onything for the inebriates' Howe?" Mrs, MacSavage: "indeed, sir, l couid weel spare MacSavage." T-ifcs Durkest Moiueut: Wlieu ,Vou di->covcr that the only stoi\> in towu that knows you weil euou£h w>' \i>ur.chcck, i.- ov>i>cd £oi tlu> | ; ī '• uiui jou itccvi u »oui*te oi | hadly. Wouldu't U ninke Lvou sad- | MAN OVER-BOREDi