Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 52, 23 ʻApelila 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Thiii eolumn is opon for rontributions. īf you hai>e a good gag, send il in and ive will puhlish it, and giiv your name the credit. —Koko-Nuts,

tCourtesj- Ililo Tribuue Herald) Virginio Gayda, Itallan edifor, hasn't tliveuteiiort Unolo Sani for the jjast thri'o da.vs. ?o the Amer-ik-an puhlie ha>n't īnueh to l:iugh :»boui. From Waiakea town comes the nfws that Wanda Waff)eiron's uog has just given birth to a »itter of five. Quintuplets. FAMOUS MONEY Counterfeit Confederate Stage llush AHruony. SAD STORY Not even for A lot of money Can We now think Of *<nmethinfl funny. HIGH AND LOW (Sent in by Francis Lyman, Heleo, Hilo) *Tpi>ei" or lo\ver horth." inuufred the would-he traveler, "what's the difference?" "Well," replied the t!eket agent, "the difTerenoe is two «loHars. But that is not «11, the lo\ver is higher than the upper one. The hlgher price is for the Unver. If yon want it lower. you have to go hlgher. We sell tho UM>er lowoi' than Ihe lower, Most people don't !lke the upper, although it"s lower on acoount of being higher. When you oecupy an upper you go up to hed and get down to get up." BULL-ETIN

"That's the la»t tsme i will ever »ian a note for anybotfy, no matttr if it is my be«t frt«nd.* SaiU the tuspjng i>>i>orier to th*> proorrt>ad<>r; "Oh, thay, vrt*at w«re you-Thaln?" O£SĒRT POME NO. 115 $tal!ed on the desert Without any #pare O*» the p«id to Kona, !» poor Johnni« Blair. The Baskans are suffering from rhree kinds of battljes. They*re eisher "ōene." "ierrtflc" or "vjo! ous." dis<patches from Berlln ntight also 1«? put uiult»r MmJtflr r3asstflcatloe. SHe*S A B!T PVULED

Streamtlnet, the oWc« slenpg, admir*s #«tf?rtp m#rs who dt*cov?r h«w «»I*l, but »he *«ys that for \ht of rtt ean*t h&w tht> wan*Bf to out th<>ir nam*s —Sugg«»tcd by F. Ljmart, HUo. r S. BTXTKSMAN 'I»RRn!fTS I.O\(ī V»UA>V\ Ot"T WAR h^ailllno II «bh.v Hi?' itrii«'n o\\t. hnt what t!i?» tvunu\v ls tryti\jĒ t<» U t«> kwp fr«i» tn SHO«T SMORT $TORV H| u**4 to ra?M tht When h«j M» *>?**!, &m, T Kut fie»» (**» »*tt>4 Ori i t»rr<\ <h»ītt b«»y r»UMg 9011H. And thWs ttw> Mllo «van wtjo

!wnt liis wife out to get some leimons, uud sshe "returned with three flf her Kelatives. Said the Yugoslavs to Hitler: "Yu{jo to the devil!" The last thuo Vera Wett, the RpmVs Hny slnmour cfvl, wetit ftshinir on tho Koauknha heaoh all she ' w:ts tho h)si hus hnok to j towu. H«nry Ford will be 78 on hi« next birthday. Seem6 like it is about time he was re-tired. I LIMMER-LICK There was a war veteran named Jones, Who was elever at shaking the hones, TiH s«ome little squirt Kven took Jones' shlrt— ' Sinoe then mention dioe nnd Jones Sjroans. 80URPUSS SAM SAYS: "A pacificlst is a «p«ciSB of grouchy tndtvidua! who is trying to prevent the draftees from doing what he wishes he was young * enough to do hlmself. M Anyw«y !t looks like the AfCAP over!ooked one het. They dldn*t oopyrig:ht the army huelie ealls. — Wlf«—«What makes you think we are geWng near a big clty, 6«ttr¥* Motorist (doing 70) — "We're hitting more -people." — Texas Ranger. I>arkest Moment: When you take a eouple of frlends to the show so you ean use your passos. aml you find that !t is hank nlght an<l that you have to pay nml ul! you'vo eot 1n your poekot is a dollar hill. WouUln't it niako you l»t\ish V FAMOUS FIRES Th« Great London Ftre Th« CWcago Ffre. ) GrMk «re. *Y©u*re ftr^d5 w S€Z WAIAKEĀ WILHE:

liy i;olly. you doirt koieii wo' Loiun out drlvins wlth nny moro' j lliippei». No *im>! Tho Uv*t ouo, ,1 took a ridc wUh nuulo n\o walV biivk," ! 1841 A« de!l o hted as a | i stcnoerapher with h«r first pay | eheek. | UNBELIEVABLE ] \\V mi?ht have Wlievcd s*w of; tlt«> uews tx>ming from tho war front j untif it was roporto« thst l>aWtn : hlmuon ahl to !tplfast :«ftorj ' 1 ti>- Oomw" lu<"tvva<fp !mni!nvl tho Iw!-m\U,v U.U vvocV. j ! Thc NaiU don*t t* j $cf. ;nu thc th?ate- ?f | j wai■ ev«n pam*. j . Nou, luuU'N ji('nttnr.on w j .-.aeheā il;c ontor, "T jw-surt to t%\ your taetaory!" . tineai grior r gt\wtwl a man in , Uu- "Uks H <vmo to i |thaiV- Amorlc«u t.o|don mapi^no. | HYMN 0f HATt j . A Quy we hat« j \ ' U C)»r*M«« ] j H« i-«4d* tht* eelumn j s Th«n *swvh tratī-,"* ( j AYt, MOH, YOU*R£ HIOHT | \ VIK r>vUi n L - .I,*.v [v vUI t. i! ■. AK'. 5- Vs-,ov ' lo <V> H h v!rt\jo U H ; ';kt' kiiowUn» tu'\\ uuV,c & ]

iar hill do the work of five aml put tiug ?uch bnowiedge iiuo actioti. Correct thi« sentence: "1 don*t n«ed no newspapec; T get att the n«ws over the radio. w {oh, yeah?) ! l.ogcndary: upon a timo j there whs a iuhu wha h;ui a i*a*siPort picturo inkon aiul it lookod ! j»st liUo him. ! MUSSOtINi BRANDS PEACE ' TALK ABSORD. — New»paper headline. And Peaee ha« a word for Mu«- : soljni whieh our dlgnity wi|! not I p«rmit us to put i«to prin*v j rri\ate iuessago to Col. Liuil- j ' boryh : WSII you nevor lt?arn 10 koop 1 y«>nr Msr mouth shut-" ! I To fIH thi« «paee ! ! W«'d wrlt« a v«r»e 4 | I But «aeh att«tmpt | 0«t« ver*e an<J ver«e. . ! !t wottlrtn*> V so tf *thr lntHliottl wouhl oharjix« us for lilm> £īims* thn>w in thf k hou?c.| |— V»ft<rowwr Sun. | 1 FooliBh queStion'No. 7,005: "Po 1 yo« think Ux«t wH! be a«y high j «r next y«*r on *OCOunt of th« defen«« proaramT* ' i I j Thp l«»p!s3ators hnvo only a fvw' ntor*> to pM lmto a tval £vv<lj Msrht; >vhtoh nitsht sor! of hrv«V. nmnotony, Tiit» uki 1 jrMn»*ry ha* tnu,-h U«-j j«wvsth'y *hir!ft£ thts t>> !*"* i'-n ' 'pf «o WTJrh .»!t ' ' Another n«e«}e<i l«vtnt!cn U i 1 fer po«tas« tSat 1 I >tV«. j ! tr> th«p> mannM 1 t >f IVi!y Honr,\ . y*« !