Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 51, 16 April 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

(Courte->\v Hilo Tribune lferakl) L;ist woek we mentioned that sap was running iu the maple sugar siates back east. N<iw a reader tells us that there iā more sap in thi3 eolunm ihan there is in a wholo giove of maple trees. And we're tryiug to ftgure out just what he meant. 1941 simile: As silly !ooking as a man dressed in shorts and an aloha shirt. CkJld is the most valuable metal kuown. It has been beaten into go!d leaf S0 thin t.hat 300.000 sheets would make a pile about one ineh thick, according to a newspaper filler. The statement is incorrect. The ham we get in some restaurant sandwiches is thinner tlian that. DESERT POME NO. 109 He's oul on the desert, All gioemy and wet; 'Twas a quart of eit He forgot to Q et ' A WASTE OF BULLETS

LiMle Stream!ines, the office steaog« savs sh« can*t see any sense in armies fighting at night. ?he says it's a \vaste of bullets, because tivey can'( see anything in th© sarlc, anyhow. SKO?UE ( FOR !NSTANCE ln diasnosinfl the spe!Ung of Bomt of thoS;e Vusostav towns the <Sermans have been ftQhtlng around, one gets a fairly ijo6d idea of how they look after a bombardment, Wanda Waffielron, the belle o! Waiakoa town, is pretty sweet on j thr new iee nian. She says she a<tmjres hi? pretty, b!vie iee. 1941 legend: Onee upon a time a man went to the post on ; the f!rst day of the month so that . he wou!d be sure to get h!s !ast monlh'a biils on t!me. wai ] disappointed. SAD STORY In a heap in a gulch Lies Billy McShane; He drore mueh too fast On a i-oad soaked with rain Modern armies arc constantly lmprovlng their equlpment, but J no inventor has yet been ab!e to : iiriprove the type of cooties the> { carry areund w!th th«m. ' BULt-ETiN j

**Mv \vJfe !u'M>,r haft » bU of tw« ■ blo kpuUik tm> «y in līme fos tiu . S««*>r Smiiis<' Rprvict>." j tn «pite of hit »Uiy leoKlna ■ mou»tachc, K*ibīt«r MR5«r ean j «tU| t«ll pt«hty q( b*r«tac«d ff««. : Miss Wr* Rw4's f kUuhoui- h&ei* tr\-v\ th.-| \ r oloano yt sttMil»> * jih & Tai look in ht>r oyos. Sh« ha<l bot?n t th!-.'up!) fioKi <flas.ts<»« «11 a*y. j FAMOUS PORTS Th« Po»t «< M*r. Th* port »ide. : f»ort l»9rt S*»d. f Pmnn R(co, - i . !::: : > ;

i PortlanJ. | Port au Prlnce. j| Port-ugat r| "Port arfrs!" 5! There are 3,250.000 rattle In T>enJmark- or»e for every other f>erson, ■> i sav« a nevspapor flller. ? Hnt Ihose flgures were cOKlpiled before the Na?.t invaslou, NO HALF RATE I The !ast time Sandy McPher i son stopped at a hotel, he tned } to get a room for half price, be--1! cause he arrived in the mtddte of | the night. . i IT MtGHT BE TRUE j r Tncluded in the war news, from private sources, is a report that a = troop of Oreek Bov Sconts, have t oaptured two divistons of ttalian infantry. NOTHtNG TO BRAG ABOUT (Contributed by A. J., Hilo) The littie eirl eame home from school very unhappy. "Some people," Bhe remarked glumly, "have j parents they ean be proud of." i Her startled mother demandfed | an «xpJanat»on. "Wel}," explained i the downcast youngster # "Gladys' mother was a snake-charm«c In a circuB and her father was a j fire-eater; and you wer« onty a | school-teacher annd Pop*s Just a dentist." Tliere is no trnth in a rumor that | newspaper offices are going to in-i ? sull lie detectors, to use on wai'i ? news <Jispatches from Berlin. . " SOURPUSS $AM SAYS: '• ' WUile women are weariug Uieīi j frocks low to get taii backs. the j men are rolling up their sleeves to j get gifenbacks." j , j I "Mo m*n ha» a good enougi> ( I memoiy to be a «uccessfut Ua'." ( | —Abraham Lineoln. j ! : t Moderu warfare has heeoiuo so j j efficieirt that, if it passe& over an j f j area Mouday, ihe ,archaeologists j 'j ctui begiu Uigging <»n Sanirday' —, v | Judge. j | lt i« proposed to u«e this do- | j nation to purchase new benches j i <or our park as the prese«it ones j j are in a very diiapidated state. ; I —News ktem in Ariaona paper, "■ i ... j j MOD£RN VERSiON ; | Oh, mother, m&y I go out to s*ira? j j \Yhy not, my darliug daughter? j j You're so darn neai naked anyhow j j You'd li>ok better in the water. j j —lowa Greeu Gaader. j j 10 CUTTERB GO TO BRIT A*N. j j —New«p*per He«dWne. i L<Uia StreamUne« says «he , ( doe*i»'t see any een«e in sendina . j cutter» over there this time of , j the year when the sr»ow is near- . j ly ail gone. j j BOBBIE BURNS MODERNi2£D [ J oii, wud some power ' T!-o j:io wiiilo mi a Rhip Ki'om siokt!rss trt-o Ar>oth«i needed >ftvention is ā S'oiuticn <or iutc*tucs that wili j automattcall> r«wovt ehalk } j marks made b> traffic eep*. ! Wiuklou CUurciuU says Gor | | iuatts headed tov>ard Russia. f f Aiuug iu tliv eaiii p&u , eeiuuu, a eliai» by Uie X«- * • . »:uloou iioiiūcd uīs 4!in\ ni th&t di , 1 | look vrhat liHpi>eued, | The ltaii*ns catl theu' diCtAtoc j f li Ouee, Now h« «ptH thc f , ftrst word with anoth«c "1", be j , caus« lh*t's what he hAi īwst jjct ! i tro« the Gfe*ks *nd British f J | whioh makee him "llt" Duce. | W — ; , INU'Kii IO VV.\lv UY JUKE, i>KEN. , bc«tiline. ī .Na*. ihai *oa't Ainll out uiaulh U>£ *»!.v (