Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 22, 25 September 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open for con(ributioas. lj you have a good gag, send it in and uv uill publish it, and give your name the credit.—Koko-Nuts. . ' . J

Oh, wud some power the giftie gie us. to see th!s stuff as iihers see it. (With apologies to Bobbie Burns.) There's Thr-r-rift Fer Ye, Mon. * Our old frieiul Saud>' McPherson, >vho is uoted s3|vv f° r thriftiness, is sort of over<3oing it lately. Whenever he has to write the •word "free" he spells it with only one "e" so as xo save a letter. MAYBE HE MEANS US A poet doesn't eare If you smash his heart. A mangled affair Is a booQ to his art. A romance is a caper, A passing incident, Whieh conveyed to paper j Pays a poet's rent. i So please be easy I With heart. 1 You ean talce it— But not apart. Because, obviously, This pome must show it, And leave no doubt— That I'm NO poet! —Art Franklin.

SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

"As tong as the Ēnflll»h are putt!ng up such a maflttificent reststance

•Oalntt the lnvaslon of the?r country, how ean anybody have heart to make wlsecracks about the English sense of humor?"

Foolish Question No. DH 7777: 18 Honolulu hotter ia summer ttme than Hilo? DESERT POME NO, 91 On the desert all wet ls poor Jimmy Parr; Got cauflht in a *torm In an old, open car. 1940 simile: As har<i to flnd at home as a political candidate. DUMB AD. From M«lnland new«paper: For llale—Fine 'St. Bernard dofl. Wlīl eat V«ry fdnd of ehil<lr«n. CaU TR 812«. FINE MONEY FINDS WAY 1"0 RED CROSS.—Newspaper head!itie. Thafs just fsnel L«fiendary: Onee upon a t?me a f!*herman caught a In the Waiiuku river after «lttlng for S}4 ho«rs on the bank—but that wu <Jurlng *he re!fln of KJnfl Kamehameha I. HYMN OF HATE A kld w* bat« Is Percy Blnn«; He to kiek Fblks on the ehin». Accōrdinfl to 6tatlstic», th« Am*rlcan pe#!e are eattng $0% more cheese now than the> durfng proh?t>!t!sn, And quHe n«tural!y, th« drust}l«ts ar< eeHmore POLtTICAt CANDIDATE

—Phoio by Doc Tklt i» K \sotiimonmcj Mcf?tow ; for i v n t&« Meal TUkct. He «d b« work for I>l4£«r «id olk«# of \&m la »a.mlwU«tll tu ||mt« e*f* to t*i »oi* Mr MvStovi 1«. & 4f lk* Owis, Un» Ciitniy Club. ittt tb* foj llu» rrc>eutloo jt CPttfity to ru'-.ō M,sX Kts oc

cupation is that of horseshoe coJlecj tor, a rare profession nowadays. J lt is estimated that restaurant8 1ose an averase of 217 custo.mers a month by operatt«fl a ratflo. People are Fn the habit t>f aoin® to restaurants to eat, not to be annoyed by a loud and racuous Instrument of torture that produces swI«b and other !oud, dlsconcertfng nolses. And some restaurant owners are foolish enou{jh to believe they are do!ng their patrons a favor and that it brings more business. POEM CONTEST This week Koko-Nuts starts a poem contest. To the person who writes the best rhyme about Hjtler we will give a prize of a package of Kix breakfast cereal. The verae should consist of only four line° something on the order of Uie three verses following : Adolf Hitler started a war And gave the lion a bun, The lion smiled and then grew y wiid — Now Hitler's quite undone. Says Hitler to Goering, "Lt's just plaiu trea8on, Der gQtt[oi-dam Euglisii ou t hsten to reason!"

Hitler pinched 113« lion'a tail, I 1 he British lion defied him; The Uon got sore and what is mor»--He*s 2ot Hitler now inside him,o<d Man Wlnter Is most iikely te preve Br?tain*s mcst reliabie ally. Si!rn In a Los Angeles store wiaW)NT GO ELSEWHERE TO BE CHEATED COME IN lIEKE I ISN T SHE BRiGHT?

Ulttl« Str«am!in»«. the office | P®t, thinka th« mong, Red Saiis In ! The Sun«et, r*fer« to thc Russian ] fl*«t j Anotfeer ue«ful an<l niueh. needeū| lnvputlon is a gadget that will au i tomatically close the windows ul, your cax whea a sltower oi r&iaj eomei? up uiiexpecledli w Lik joUj r»ro a b!ock or two and | Tiave loft tlic wiadows opeu. . t ! [ SAD STORY ! On a ho*pß*l cot [ Llet nitwlt J«« Lane; | Tried tc driv«. hl« (a«t car I Whh h!t irw *rou«i a jane. There ī» a bmta &hortagt iu an. ac<wrdiug to Mp6rt That e| mt cha««» to rtd ot a lot of) saxoi'hones. | WILLKiE HURLS Ft£R\ , CHARGES AT FDR. — N**»p a . ( h«aaun«. } I Whieh mdicat«s th*t th« eam- , I paijjn <e $eUittg "hoL" f | a Ui.uc, wam 4 i'ū XV c<vi lu£U Uau lJiis taii M j ;Uc mea wiU a | ,|H icC fv'l | ! C^ne S T;j;t.ton haa ' ; for «ī\toi daya. That *ii» tu« , , bc>s t.n-;e to §et ma.r{se-d a«,i «*. t j e a|w the ftr«l dr*fi. ,