Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 21, 18 September 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eōiumn is open for contributiqns. lj you have a good gag, send it in and we uiīī publish it, and gile your name the credit. —Koko-Nu ts.

JUST TIRED . Listen to the ■ stor.v of a very tired uian Who"d tube a vucutu.ii but never ean, 'Who works froni morn till I:iU' at uight, Wt tries to smlle an<t N' polHe; A uian wlhi's tired of iuatiy a iliing, Froiu propagamla to mo<leni swing, Wlio'a . tired of biity.krie.us nnlioe, wars, Croonersi, liars, lieat bars, Pnrges ,putseiies, taxes. M r,-ips, Elappem bu&ses, baseliall, crap?, Hitler, war news, >'azi lies, Fiftli columi)ists aiul foreign spies, I>aniis, jitterbugs.. negro t«nes, Wahiues dressed in panta!oons, I>odging traffie, paying l»iils, And all the other modern ills, Writing stuff fof folk< to read For jus! enough for room aud feed — And yot, it seems a tritīe fumiy We never seeni to tire of MONKY. SOURPUSS SAM SAVS;

'*Fotks used to say a i boy's best friend is his mother, but when he

Qrows up in thls modern age, he'H i flnd that hiK best friend really ls J his bank account." i DESERT POME NO. 90 | On ihe vast K-au t\osort J Whert> ilie ruita i$ so rough, A tourist is saving, "One trip is t'iiough.' Appies are a pa«*t of the wedding ceremony in Montenegro, according to a magazine story. j Let*s see, wasn't it an , that had something to do with the ; downfalt of man? j FAMOOS HANDS j The liiiuk Il;vud. j HaiulH t!iy j The ClūU'liiiur,H)UHl ■ Hand That 1 k tl e Onnllo. j T!i«' llu .i «>f Fate- j The Hue ItaliūO haud. | A full hainl. ] The hautl of Tiiae. j The {'Uwk hands» Tht> hir<*<l haml. The dirty hau4 | Tho cowha«d. Tlu» polilieal <umi.aign hand. (Just m»w tuu.!t lt\ ovidencp) ltaml-monlowns, Tiio outstret ched hand that craves a ttp. BULL-ETIN

■ "I never t»k« a friend home to ; dinner without first callin:fl up thē little wife anti fletting her OK.*" hoi rKsr .\r<;i sT sinok im j — !n?ad]iDe. j \t»u re to!Uug j After enjoying their annua? vacation, most folks have nov* rc tumed home f or a re«L AiM>Uu-r ih oikv? hneliUon is a Tor |K>litUal oandldatOf Uu« ' wlll yh;iKe hati& wUI» nii ihi» at ftace. It4o simise; As ob»«lete as : l*ct year"» model radio. ī UNEASY UE$ TH£ H€AD Stx UUle kiim Siuing i« ik r*nr, Wv»ihloriiig wholl lve n?xt to f<>. &ī\ im.li» vliumiv» \ WlH» , ro fulttu£ \Sown\ fast, | wou<U*rktts whidh 5 WIU l* th« U?t, j A<. ui£ as l!Uler J t\>i»ttnui?!» frtsk.T. Ttw> |>«vfWsk'>B oi kui* li*** «k»iv n»«l aa r* ,

POLiTICAL CAND!DATE

—Photo by Bill Chun 1 This is Mr. Wun Bum Lunj, j candidate for the office of laurtd- I ry inspector, on the Laundry tic- ] ket. Mr. Wun says that if h« is eiected he promises to see that • every laundry sends back the same shirt that the customer brings in,. that all the buttons that are snaggled off in the wash will be replaced and that saw edges ori stiff collars will not be permitted, AJso the "no tickee, no washee" rute witl be continued in future as in the past. Mr. Wuh is also the owner of the prettlest and most fcxpensive sh!ft in town, and nobody is aaing to take it from *" m - 7 \ LiMMER-LICK There \yas a young king named Carol, Wliom īlitit'i' h;ui over a barrol, Who'll :il\vuys ivi!ieiiiber Tliai da\ in S<.'HU'Hilier Wheu lie lleil \\ Uh l'iis vvū lu'iuleiī J gar-rul. I THE SPĒNDTHRIFf

Sandv McPherson is getting more reckless j every day. saturday night he took his girl friend out for a good

time and spent $1.50 on her. He , ! said he woutd have spent more, ' but that was all the money she ! had. I ' Loge;idnry: Onoo upon a i nae \ hei'e was a who s;tu!: ' You re : working too hard; tako it t>asior! | European Poker Term: Stx j kings and six asses. i HYMN OF HATE I A puy #e hato j Is sportsu»an lUnm: j Ho < atohes Bsh i iv«t Urings none. | WAIAKEA WILLIE SAYS: !

"After checkir»g up on some of t ' the u»ri* in nny <fistrict, !*ve con»e ' to tbe conclushuri that, compai-«J ! ' tc them. » piKe?. ; There aint tto M*rc Anthon>s I now*d»ys, but from what 1 «art I sec, thcre are p!ent> of "maik&' ; around here these days — eas> ! one«. i ■ P»w»!sb q'aostloti N«i. 1\ 'ymj har,d . alw;iy* wear i;r, i fonas whoii you i»!ay jt mm,, ort' j «HAVING A GRANQ TīMĒ"

I Litt!e Streamlir>es, v*fw ha« be ( i eome • fSxture in the front office, ■ read the *tory about Wild B)H C«mpbe]i a«d Ms proposed dnve ,to Buer>os A!rec, and she's *cn- , #erl»»g h«yr cfrsng tc sct i acro« the Panawa Oan,* but it that when ht «eu to Ar«e«t<»ia h« »end her « |jost- ' wwi, i i I TAKIU»N MK. lŪ r T I.OOK J1 ST UKK MAIUOUIK'