Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 46, 13 Malaki 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

loe sk!iting has heoome the popular pastime in līoiioluhi. Now llilo should havo at loast oin l rink. It shouldn't cost miH'h to euuip il. »iiH-e it is $o ea*y to find i-heap skates in thiss town. Successful Colorado newspaperman writes hss best gags in a pupule house, and says it's the best plaee to write them. Now isr\'t that a coincidence? We have felt all along that we could improve this eolumn if we had the proper environment. DESERT POME NO. 64 Acryss the dull desert Slowly rides .īulian Yates; He'd make berter time If he use<J Tolier skates. The road is so rough One must travel quite slow— If you Snd one tliat's worse, Wili you please let us know? BULL-ETIN

"i am throwing off my commission on this sale because I am a friend of yours." EALKAN NATIONS T0 KLEP OUT OF WAR.—Newspaper headlinew ||fs; Oh, yeah! One r©aB©n, perhaps, why Irishtnen take thinQS so lightly is that most of them eome frpm the city of Cork. Hilo tasi <iriver has been around the lsland so mnny times he knows every eow on the Parker ranch. Nine million people in the United States are unemplayed, not including those who were worklng a few days ago at Kalapana for a motion picture production company, Waiula Wa!Tleiron, the belle of Waiakea. is so auinh she thinks soeiai seiurity is souio sort o£ a §uarantee for keeiung your plaee iu society. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS;

"When folks start cailing a man 'Pop', it's getting about time to

thtnk about making apptication for that old-age pension." THINGS WE COULD OO without (Xo, 8) Highway hogs Who make yoi) swear Aiui £eiid cold chills Clear throagh your hair. GETTĪNG HER OATES TW»STED

Little Strtaml|nes, th« cffice 4t«noB, must b« terr?b*y In love wrtth that new bo> fri««d of *Mir«. Bhe can*t t««m to Kee|j her on htfr work. Fridiy, Mdtx;h 1, »he dat«d «II her !etter« ' F«b. m.»

Aīid thpr*>'s Un» 115K> l'un.iiau'. who u» iht> s>iiiU>r ho wasleavfttg; , TU ln.vt' \vliv» ,wu eouio m<*. b IMO ; With u nun> &s s Finnish TH NCS WE HAVC \ ET TC $l-L Afuonjj tli« WP vc JOt 10 MH'. R<»n P%or?v !un>bSng Wlih 3oha A. Lt»e. MU* V«r» W«tt. the nev*««t

dition to this eoiumn, says it's so dry in the Reed's Bay district, where she lives, that patrons of neighboring barrooms have quit drinking dry gin because it scratches their throats. AceordiiJjj u> United Press repori, Alaruuba will 420,001) acrcs of peanuts tlib yoar. That cheer of ayyruval doos ikh eouie froiu Uie theater junitors.

DiSAPPOINTED When Sandy McPherson got married he had to put a sudden end to his honeymoon. He found out his wife

didn't have the money to pay for it.

BRITISIĪ IIINT AT BLOCKADE OF SIF>KRIA. — Xe\vspaper headline.

We \vere umler the impressiou the iee lia<i alreac!y takea cure of that iittle problem.

And tftere's the Hamakua Scotchman who is so happy because his son's birthday falls on Feb. 29, and he has to buy him a present only onee every four years.

Poor people in the interior of Ohina are living on eaniel meit't. Many of them would walk a mile for a Oaiuel.

Foolish question No. 19,682|i: "Can't you quit «moking those vile cigarettes?"

An«ther needed invention is a hanimer for housewives that wili eaahle them to drive a nail straiglit.

NOW THERE'LL BE NO PARADE tfs going to be hard

to ceiebrate St. Pat. rick's Day without Jack

Keiiy, When Jack moved to Ho-

nolulu a eouple of weeks ago, the lrlsh population of Hllo was reduced by one-third. PARKER RANCH LiMMER-L!CK Have you heard of the Pai-kor Haiieh eow That ,aivo grade inilk. a«d howl 4 Hm she wandere<l afar And walked iuto a ear— And the oowhoys are eating lier tioxr.

I Moderh Confucius says; Man I who spends more than salary I earned sure to receīve visit from i Frank Huff soon. | A mau was hit oa the head with Ja brkk hi frout o£ ihe liea Shieid | hotei in Honolulu tiie other daj. | That is oae ShieLd that offered 110 I protectioii. Little Strw\mlities i - cud alKuu it iu ihe Star l>utletiu uiui |Said; "The lrUh are sianiog iu early this »vear tt> eelebraie Pat- ! iivk'f> l>ay.*' 1940 fable: Onee upon a time ther« was a political candidate who refU6«<J to have his pitture put in the newspaperss LATEST WĀR JOKE LUitish : "1 to n port, sir. thut thero's a īieniuui nihiuar»ue v'īi our j»ort si\le. J v jsH»|. a u.'|nti hoinh-.-" vouuuauUer: ",No: LKuu do au^-j uiii)4 rus4u īii dv'\\u a dt\ci. wiili 4»oiuo i>iiuti»hlels," j

Liie « o&ik«*t Wem«nt. Wheu s tiw ta\ cooect«i' «n*i6 y>?ur meeme Ux teport for eoioeelion. .

|ENCOURA<JiNG RECKLESSNESS i Seotoh eiviHsn who was \voutuied . i in o*lo of tite Oentu»\ air r;*ids on ■ ' fs~ drawtn>r a ihm\s!oji of S i|*Nioe j>er week. īhe *\juat of 1(5 ] <vnts m tut«ieji, frvuu tlie Uri j :*nwrwHWit Thst*s cx»Jua to ' I MM* ot>\er £ s -o , ,~'hiv,-v to $i(i\ v»ut lu ihe oj>eu ev ery liiae ■ th*nv is ;tn atr ratj. | il.-\>Ai.L, v;OOli\K. i