Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 42, 14 Pepeluali 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

West Virginia fannly lias added tive sets of t>vins shK-e ĪLKW. Tliat ought to be enough iax exonil>tioiis to niake it possH>le io keep the fauiLiy iiu-ome intact. DESERT POME NO. 60 On the dull desert wastes Of the vast Kau plain, Where no moisture is needed. There's plenty of rain. GKRMANY 11IT ,ViY BIG COLD WAVE —Xewsp:iiier liomiiine. Ami we guess that ihe nauie of if is Potgnt Ilruian Goriiii:. the oversized nitwit wlio plays second flddlo -īii 'Schlos*i>ooyf llitler's orehestra. ' SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

"The most efficient v way for fat people to reduce is to have their

teei.ii extracted and then they wīll have to live on thin soup for a few weeks. That will reduce the most stubborn case." RUBBING IT IN TUe Kvissiaa army lms no iiread, IMamw dropped it on the llne. liut not the line lntended— *Twas the one called Mannerheim. Beeause the Kusskys' aim was bad, And wind was blowing hard, j The bread was hlown aeross in to ! The flghting Finns' front vard And so tlie Russkys have no bread, Not e'en a pieee of cheese; While thousandj? die of huuger Thousaud§ more He down and freeze. Aud yet the war goes gayly on While Stalin eouiiu his dead, And Finland's sturdy warriors Dine on deer and Russian bread. What dictator Sta(in te!ls his army: "Go to Helsinski! w Wanda Waffieiron, the helle of Waiakea, says one good thing ahout ihis dry spell is 'ihat ihe brusli fires give the firemen lots of praetiee. SHE*KNOWS THIS TOV«N

Littie Stream!ines, the office know-lt-aH, says there*s no use ! teJiing peopie in this tov»n anything about other peopie*s private affairs. because they always make up their own stones about foiks, anyhow, and anythfng you ean say to the contrary won*t ehange the»r Hne of gab whin they pass tt on to the nei^hho^. "That's why," she saysb "t never ta»k about anybody any more f especial!y married people.** Kx-kaisvr of <,ionimuy tiis 81 st Uirihiliiv on Ja», 2T, a newv iuuu. Woll, wlHMUeli Hitter weu!d ttke to change the BHti*h tsies to the British Heils t;Hi» : Onoo upon a th»»o (durititf Hionīh) īht>re was a ra\lio prograiii th;U dkln't hav<> *Oh, Jolumy ,< >.m u. TOO BAD HER FIRST NAME ISN*T MAPLE Ookaia hoapilai has 3 new nūr»e b> lfce nsm« of Seyrup. tf the name has «n> f-snce she must be a very *weet gIH. LEAP YEAR LIMMER LiCK Sn. huty nanwl Kati Took a trip to tho of Haiti: TlHMv's.he inot a ?>o\\ hoau Who hs<j i4osHy nf <tousrh She pwiwmi arid r.o* \w * tn">r •ULL ETIN

«I «niy ftt yw?

paper because l wanted to help | you out. 1 really didn r t want Ft in the first plaee." TH»NGS WE COULD D0 WITHOUT Snooty redlieads. About 275 sampan busses. eomie valentines. Croonors. Tho present woi'Ul war. liadio ads. Dk-tators. Garlic salad. Maritime stfikes. lirusli lires. Koast turkey on week days. People who talk out loud at the tuovies. SL(GHTLY MISTAKEN

The last time Sandy McPherson made a trip Ito Honoiulu he was sharing a two-berth eabin. Next morning his

eompanion, !ooking ovef the side of his bunk, saw the man from Hamakua uaino hls feHow-travel-toothbrusli, and on expostureceived this rep!y: "Oh, is it y€urs? 1 thought it belonged to the ship!" MODERN VERSION Jack (liiekanl) and Jill went np the liill For \vator from a woll, Because of wrfter shortage Cansei! hy a i>rolongeQ dry si]>eli, L?ut after they had reaelied the top They found the well was dry, Jaek and Jill went down the hHI And got a drlnk of rye. DER FUEHRER

Pictu«e of Hitler at the end of the first ten years of the v*ar— if he lives that iong. lIMO simito: As j>opular wiih.. thoptamatioii!? as ilie Wealhoi- Man U u>duy.