Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 41, 7 February 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

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Tlio yarbage «ipii liail a ,beavy day ou Moiulay, carting a\vay īhe eiapties as the result of various plac*es at whiili the President's Rall \vas eeU'liruted, and the P»urns anniversiiry. LATEST WAR JOKE The young man watked up to the British recruiting officer and exclaimed enthusiastically: "l'm here to eniist. I want action, fighting and plenty of trouble." The recruiting sergeant looked the fellow over skepticalty: "Then l'd advise you to steer clear of this war and get married." DARWiN REVISED Every mau is a niixture of several animals. A liītie dog. a little iioiikey, a little skunk, and—a lot of hull. And ever\ woman is a mixture of several birdSs A little crow, a Uttle dove, a littie vulture, aud p!enty ot euekooLiberty Magazine. OESERT POME NO. 59 Out on the desert Strolls poor old Joe Duff; He got out ahd walked <Cause the road was so rough. DlSCAlil> YOUIt OLl> AEHIAL —Ne\vspaper advertisement. And to imike it still better, discard ilie nulio, too, with the rotieu program!> we have to !isteti to nowadays. FINNS STEM ATTACK BY SOVĪHTS —Newspaper headHrie, And whīle the Finns are doing the "stemming" the Ruskys are getting it in the stern, MAYBE SO Periiaps some futiny things We folks will see soiue day, For instanee, Joe E. Brown Kissing big-moutlied Martha ītaye. Or wouldu"t it be funnier still, if \ve just liad ihe pull, To see our darllng Martha Ki*siug Ferdinand tlie BuUt

INSPIRATION The man who invented s!ovv moīion movies is sa!d to have gotten the idea while watching Sandy McPherson reach

for a restaurant eheek, C*ark OaWe, s*.-iveß »tar, lias just reeeivt»a SI(KK) a week f-alary raise. That's a!ni(ist etiouglt to pay the inoonio sa.\ au ilie otlier $SOOO lie has beert gettSng. GERMANY MAY SHIP M6RE COAL TO ITALY — N«wspaper headiine. Perhaps by dothg 50 she ean warm Wussolinf up. TANKS FOR THE TANKS Tho R',issians keep on tanks l'l» to the fr»>nt eaeh <luy, Aiul then the \vUite<lad Finnish boys ,lust i.-sVo Vm ri-h! a\vay. News repcrts sa> that Hit!er believes h< will emerge victeri. ous within e»ght months. There's a possibilit> that he may be right. Judging from the inactivity on the Westem Front he ean send his trocp« home any time and announee that German> has won the war and nobody witf knew the difference NOW WHO SENT THIS IN7 Pear Kok.- \;si* \hw U a r,. iij>e t»»r pei % li!iiii hauHtui's.. ».'e; hamma suri!.u)nie<V ttan;uvii «1" fi. t«v!r» ;h>4''l!C 1 s, a rv h..;.a:„ s v' K ; who» | 'i'eil haiiana n has the siui >ou| lo\e to ioUvh, !Viit;usa «;!' Uem l»l« iik<* a k»«f. Skiu wtU shake nmt <tmp off Turn over īi sroV»l-īltj; g*"r. lianuna wtU !>*•> st ] lty|vnotisp h«ii.-»tiM 'l'ell Uamma !t ts S S!tRkP Hanana «11! s}»if>,t »kin. Cmil iMiiam* ye!Ki» U:,i;.in.t wi' *rsnt tf ttfht \VJU mv no i.| |; ( « Advise Mnsrwv ths- r -,\ ekHh«s are unitoaltUj V ■ « M «aut lo srro*» .1 Wm 1 2 ei'ii biis>āi;.n l!w , C r •- J B»dh wlit «.īt|* nulii i-ut itf >}> s: i

SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

"The femaie of the speeches is more deadly than the maie. The

man v*ho is filthy with money is soon cleaned." SHE SAYS THE CUTEST THINGS

].ittle Streamīines —"A nian ealled a few niinutes ago to give you a thrashing." Bos.s —"What did you ?ay to liihi?" • L4ttle Streamlines —"I told him I was sorry you were not in." Business is so slow this month that flf*ost ernployes are watching the calendar instead of the eloek. Favorlte hook of an erstwhile salesman: "Gone With tbe Wind." BULL-ETIN

"I never refuse a worthy friend a loan, if I have the money." LIMMER-LICK There was a young maid of Manila. Whose favorite cream was vanilla: But, to relate, Though you filled up hcr plate, Twas impossible ever to fi?l lier. NEW TAXES MAY 8E ELiMlNATEO—Newspaper headline. Providina, of courBe, congr%6s doesnt lō»e the ellmlnator. AuoUiei- ueeUed iuveotion is u telephom» that wiil auiomatioally shut oil ihe i>etweeu iwo wom»Mi wheii they start ssaying to eaeh olher. Jehr> S, Rlckard, head of the water department, ha« been wor. rying a lot lateTy about HMo*s water supply, so we'll a!t jo!n in tslnflina that flood old song, "Oh, Johnny, Oh, Johnny Oh*" The moviug picture industry is :hu lositsg uoy nioney. lt is uliie tō gtve salary boosts to screen stars. As to ciitt!ng the prlce of 1 to the ?how- well. Ja differeDt iaatter. 1 $omt wahine auto driver« c«t th« corner ju#t Hke they'd cut a eake. iabit>: Oaee upou a linie there n inivyinnn who rofuse<l 1 fo tatw £hore ?eav«. j Now this is Leap Year, 1 Whieh everyone Vnows, ! But we h»ver»*t heard yet j Who's the fir«t tc propo«« I vohinftM*rs aN> «]f*vtwt )u> jro (o m'Xt inonlli, jHrit»»h iH\t Well, m»yt>ē , ūa' t rvikl» ii\! #īaux! pr. ! Honolulu tu« palnttd **21q j traffsc o« h«t *treet*. Th*y | ouaht to be ea#i for the feMows ; returnir»g from a wU<! p*rty t« : fol»ow. \r\V MO\KY AV.UI.API.K h*mdMn«v ttosh» whw' MH * AH ?ho old monp) to SWU ! Th« «rmy of H«)l«nd h*« b#tn | «w«y **ttt*a trap* ?or C*rm»r> W«nd«r (f thty *re batt j in# thcm w»th outch chee«e '