Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 21, 20 September 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Wlieu Hitler hq.s been captured J \\t- that lie he jriven a one-j wa.v tu kot to l»atestine. TUe Yidui*h bo\s wiil be glad ti> see Wib. Wanda Waffleiron is g ettin 9 dumber and dumber She*s so . dumb siie thinks sardines eome , from the island of Sardinia. i Alnuii llio only poople wlio nre! >iiic Hoiu lUe r«vaj;ei! of these (iii>s art> the Eskiiuos. l"p in lln' Uuhl of iop :ind ?nows, Tlioro H\vs tho li:ippy Kskimos>. TUoy lmvo 110 fear of Hitler's legions A\vay up in those Arctie regions, For tliouch it's oold and mighty dreary are nUvay? eheory. \'o \vars. mt tnxos. no radios— Why can't we all Ue Eskimos? BULI--ETJN

"I never iiav€ any *.roubte gett!ng a photograph that looks Just exactly Hke me." L|PE ! S DARKEST MOMENT When you have just oiiē mlnute to got vour letter in the mall and you oan't find a parking spaee withhi Iwo miles of the post oftke, and there's a polioeman %vatchiog you. DESERT POME NO. 42 Stalled on the desert is Gertie and Kate; Their gas tank held twelve But they thought it held eight, YES, WHY? Why is it that the best radio programs atways start just as you are nbout to loave home on an Import«m i»U!sin<?ss eugagement'?

POLE CA*HTAL HOLCIN<» OUT—Newspap«r headltiie. Lfttle StreamlEnes says she*s gta<l to know the Pe!es «re ablē to make their mone> Ust. 0»e r£<leeiuing feature ol tiu> war rtf-w> S>f t >adēasīs J$ t!iai tbey cwwd <iuite a fi,uv of tlie s;wlag lmnas off tlw» prx>grsms. 1339 eimile; As sll!y tooktng ; as an ol«l married woman trylng ' to make herse!f Jook young by '' weartrig gWlsh j KTNG SIGNS OANAOIAN WAR ( XOTIv -NewspaitM>r headline. Rath* v r r|sky business s!fninc for peoplf> these dflys. It's ! n,«' , who us«al]y psys , VE«BOTfN ' German> has warned the ; Czech* not to join fōreign t«glen«, ; Along *bo«t 191? the Am«ric«n ; :• * •" V w«re wamei not te drtnk 'iQwcr. !t's orte thlng te t«*Uf ' warriī«ss ar>d another to get tofk» te heed th*m. OH, OEAH! V"» ?-'v. < i , ro.v«l imwi. 11is inii.u- v <-\ Kiii|r Z: jmm si. ;«vt i;> t yj«Mry, ; N• ■ w 111' < ivj 1 .oiulo» ts\s r&rmer Kii»ef Wiīhelm deni?» . that he h»s askesi Hitier lc haH !<«♦ »«r, $uch » reqtte«| ft*iflht ' «nc«ur«i« D«r F«iilu«r te wn» c>ve< tc when th« w*r U ■ ffni*hed M «*Mēv« ev«r, ' IMlii I**« ®&t to hide SOMC PHwml" j «OI'aPUW $*W

"Mn.\l„- !ha{ odor thsl I*-. , , ' ~t ,*t, -.1,- \V ' ' ' l> i or tmsr rr*r

! "h{sT ( * jv>o "Kxt«ut" 6*rm«ft «*WtM eir!-x * v*tf ' 0* tN»ir- feaf*f» «*!#>(>£ $? ' ?sun& pot ?ftr'*><t?*6 t** % .

In iuodern \varfaiv it'? hard to Ih-imooii tU« erack of r3»U's 3n tln j froiu line tmiches and tlit' of coofies when the <oJdiers take off their shirts. THOSE VANISHING LINES Speaking of biackouts, it takes a man wjth extra Bood eyeslsht to find thos* yeltow parkinfl ttrips nowadays on Hilo business streets. LIMMER-LICK Tliew's a nioe oUI feilo\v natned Gandhi, Who just now oohhv in quite handy; Tells his foiks to sit tight Anil k»'ep out of tho fiyht— Now iftn't that fine and daudy ? TH£Y 010 JT IN PARIS <f Hiio is ever attacked by an invading army, won't it be fun seejng all the sampan busses eommandeered to carry the troops to the front Hne. IL'iili t il.t>r»' w:t* :i \\ l'A worker wlio w:is enfiroly sati<tU>(l willi 11h> size of liis jmy envelopp "Another needed invention is a softener for peanut sheils, for the use of theater patrons. Wh,v vvorry about thp Russliins? Th**.v iv |>rolnilny oiiJy mobSlizins for their s«»iuul b:vth. Have you heard the one about the Scotch col!ege student who wrote home and asked his father to send him a few (bank) notes. Ali he got was the opening bars of '-Auid Lang Syne." Ali .MKK V(»UXC; SIIO\YEU HuNOIiEE— Societ.\ page headline, Sounds a bit llke piilgin EnglisU. Scotch proverb; Don't spend , money on drjnk, but always keep ! a corkscr«w handy. | An old tiiuer īs oae who oan ro-1

inoinht>r wheu sistor Susie \vas stnv itttf socks fur soldl«ts» ♦ '

| Streamlines* blg brother j scratched his head the other da> s and got ai splinter in his ftnger. | H*s an old aevr«p,ij>er I that when a tuan bites a «3og, tliafs npws. But we know a liouor one \V;i»>u a Kamehamēhu hum !vn'i.mdles you f«r i\Sv. h.i*. w h,» *■«») t'ai i\uĀ Unii a>k> \ou ror « S0 l\e v.i\i tij> iho \v;u;. r, (iuu's #erv», Kokc-nuts has iost some teeth. Wh 4 ch doesn't in\prove h»s f*ce, And Sii he wntes this i«ttie v«rse To heip to fiit tht§ space. tl , tau<:s like Uu» Aui*?ri,« <ua io «WHI adva!ii;īi:, (Uai f«mous "Ul. l<im k Tft or« j»hraso. "Novr i»; ?hc itiu« ft>r aii iuvii tt> tvsiit> U> iho ahl of th»nr tvtttttr,v," Th« Curop««n *ar n«ws won*t to« *o <nt«resting *ft«< co«ir««t *U «P**!*! sess,c-n. Som* of th« t«ft*tov> ar« b*. j g*nnin« t<j na,t * **, ef |l«4r j c*n, but *e hcp« th« i»«fc«tcnt j >*•)!» be «bt« tc get th« bcys owt , c "' th« btnches b> Chrs*tm*«> , 4.<> AMKlli.-ANS 1. KAV 1 X | AT!IKN.< - N>t\ i Wni!. n ;■> w sjuiu- *u *\n\\ J u vHU V»1 vis\VoC,. | *f!s h«r e *t kok*.N*lt ! *':ft »"i<t tht fc«ck aee; M# h*;r f C! *n«th« f j