Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 12, 19 Iulai 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

We overiieurd a uiun r«nnark the otlitr day that ••yuu cau't believe everything you roa<l in the new? papers." Well. we onee knēw au editor 'who starteil iis tellißg the truth about everybo(iy. He didn't live loug. | Heading in Los Angeles Times: Ends Life After Taxi Drive Here. Can't exa£t|y blame him after getting the bill. LIMMER-LICK There \v.is-- a tt;iyper ia lloiiolulu. Wiio thouglit she c<>uld hu!;i-hulu, i»ur she steppeii oiv a pear And her feet "tonk Ihe iiii " And lhat was the ,4 end" of poi>r l.uiu. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS;

••Young ladies wha are afflicted with nerves wiH find that one ! of the best v tonics is dish water ' applied to the hands three times > a day." An Oklalioiiia pmicher says s\viug Hiusio iuaj make the tndian* ' wiUl again. \V«> (ion'! doubt it a bit. Getting into the newspaper business is like running a car ' without brakes. Onee you. get started you can't Stop, CLASSIC PPME A gay young gob natoed Jackie, ('anie asJiore to buy some sake, But iustead of sake He bougbt terbaccy And went bm-k sober, by iracky. A Detnver minister says the end of the wtor!d is near. WHen a man tries to cros« the street in Hilo any Saturday night the end of the world for h«m may be close, and probably that is the way it īs in Dfcrwer, Tbey have automobiies there, too. BULL-ETW

"Tlu;s .siiiik>u i> i»]h-u for t"onstructivt' crim is!ti. Soiul iu any s«ggesii<uis \.iu i»a.v liavv for Imj)rovoun'iiis iti our pi'Uimim*." We etud«ed our instruction bcdk " And tri«d to do itjl btdding, 9ut <lnd no way by hook or crooK To ktsp a car from iklddinaL<»s r«'min<ls us of h «'Ho r«s g|rl. L.A. is hulli with outsiklrts. So i.s a ehon»s girl, tf money talk«, At iome folk» «ay, it n#v«r fl!ve« away. A man h«ta hwu f'uind m th<? Alps who (lo«'Kirt know tho worid war ls ovfr AV*'ll. 4;ot nothttij: uq « lot of our fooil vtrofltocris who #<J m extn» 13' for ~f tvlght.'> o*tectiv« Ah Moo «ay« 1t pxy to be cr«ok«d, looK wMt happ«ned to halrpjJi*. AT TMt »ANO RCMEARSAt (īr»n.> "t onu'i tM* MnnkPty Maiik ilrusn jmrt. ThlK IWlw Wi»jrHfr tou*t h»vt' ha(s • gra<!g* n?»' 1 - f 'i"- *'»*•>» W *Me <hi« j»t*c* w lmn<tn>«st< r \V. !n "\Vhy JoiiM yo« ««k hlm to tu kuU mf* I Dru«ntti<"r nruiH- "I can*i, Ur'ssj dr«d. whon ī £„ t.- Hi-uuui I"lt »«kWn>. M W«!a MlJ>|V>m- i.v'a 00t ( mmT OWP»? thrSi. YOt* »»V htm"

ALL UPSET Coconut Isle, Moonlight night, Jack and Cora Sittfng tight; Boat upset, Both got wet, Dragged them out With fisherman's net. GETT|NG NO BETTER FAST

l.iule StreumlUies. the oft'ioe sireii. is gettiug dumber uud dumber. thinks OHver Twis) ls a new kiuii of jitterbug dance. Ca!ifornia hunter claims he shot a iion fifteen feet long. Some iyin,' KyoiutioiJists say iuau ilesiviided iroiu nionkeys, Juiigins by the way some of our petle-strians have to jump aeross Walnuenue avenue safety zones to avoid being liit by bus drivers, they must have des » euded from bangaroos. !t is reported that there is a man over in England who owns an animal that is half dog and half sheep. Wonder wMat would happen if it ever tried to chase itself. "Always park alongside a new aiul shiny car," says Guy ltuddle. "lt will i>uok out witliout soraping >our fenderB." Wanda Waffleiron says it is better to be given the air than be a flat tire. llarry Hrowii says hogs are worth more ou tlte furm tban they are bchiDd tbe steerin£ wlieel ot a big iouring ear. It's an ill wind that blows a saxophone. SAD STORY ui :i 1! the noises, 'I'iu' s : idiiest we know i> ;u«> oiu j we hear Wlu*n :t tīr,. s{arts to blosv Road manner«: "1 wl*h my Hghts were strong enough to blind hlm." ANYTHINO? (Ad iii Deuver PostJ «Mr! wiH d<« unythiU£ for fare to J C..M ehauipu 170^ IM9 fab!e; Oneie th«re wu a vacattom*t who prom«Md to vmte to h«« frī*ndc b«ck hem»— ard actualiy did. j ASTROLOGtCAL FOR£.CAST i 'i'lieie mii 1i»«k tmvel oū wa|»er as U»e etid of the i»um)£ier aen <soji «i<pnkiitlies. | &>tthd« like ihere golag t« b« Mnke of ieaiushi|itueo. I # j «miie: a» happy u a the morning of hi* flr«t t>*ck at th C offie«, I tUtt» HliUii al">U! lhf liew | tob«m> a«d liuu<»r tttx 1« tltMf it I from rurjfetUiqi I AlRttlt a | De$fLRT POML NO, 34 i 0« tn* h«L tont«om« \ Aione and dej»cted. I S«U « n*lf *eu»ed — ' T *«l t« bt Tlm» IM !fcU iMnan u imt to *n