Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 10, 5 Iulai 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The road across- the Parl<er ranoh i* going to be straīghtened.. That i,< nevvs that evei'vhodv wlio uses it will weleome. Now if somehody woiild only develop something that would keep tlie cows off of it at nijrht the pleasure of after-dark iMcing %vouTd "be eomplete.

IT'S THOSE SCOTTIES AGAiN "Maggie," said Angus to his wife, "here is a tlcket for tonight's conjuri«g show, and whe" the conjurer comes to that part where he takes a teaspoon of flour and one egg and makes 20 ■ omelets, watch verra, verra c!ose." 5 J i DESERT POME No. 32 <>ut on the desert Sits poor Willie Blow ; For some nnknown reason Hts ēar will not go. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS;

"An old timer is one who ean j remēmber when women eame to i church Jate so foiks cou!d see their new hats. NoWadays very ' few women fl§ to church at ai' so it seēms- w SAD STORY London folks are nervous And jittery, quite some, Beeause those Irishmen eaeh day * Just have to toss a bomb. For centuries the Irish have Been tossing good old brieks. But nowadays the.v play too rou?h For even flghting Mieks. Of all the eountries iri the worl<l Whose goats the Trisb get. It seems fhat "deah ole Ēngrland" Is the Irishman's best bet. Another badly needed inventlon is a radio broadcastlng station that eao furnlsh programs that will p!ease everybodyj The liumhle oniou has one advantn it never hoth«>rofl hv the mynha birds. iNNOCENCEABROAD

LittJe Slream!lnes, the offtce wHdcat, is gettiing dumber and dumber every day. Last w<eefcend on the way tc the Kawaihae celebration, she $aw scmt Parker ranch cowboys dnving a herd ©f cows a«d she atked one ef them %s> thew her the eow that fliveß the bMttermitk. Qu«'»*ii \\ 0..! At <'.»m*»-j»ondem ■ Auā Ulīo i-. \< - j•;»|><*r h.-iu)-IMē, hoo!" # HFE'S DARKEST MOMENT When ,v«»u i»i«'k yourself a nlee, «julet seat «t th<- ihratof aml you'Tv all «t»t to <i i?oo<3 shnw, rhe raibin« jm-i in anil «!t* (j»>wn >-<u. :<! »i ln»f..r<- >«>» I'UI) U> :ili<>t!nT M'!»t ltU- IIOUW* U fali. Wouhin'l it uiiik» 1 j<»u « trtwn<fly ina<l? lū3i» . *mh <- n tlm<' th@ra wfis a !;i<:iy wh" n tntm ber of tht» c«uiH> awwoA in hl* anifnnu arul vho <1!(ln*t RRk, "ī» the b«nd goinp to i*iay*" C«rt«r P, Straw ha«, etect ts| j»r«id*nl th f Wjh.awj( .'u" |#f <tf ee-mmm», but Mt liy a «*rtw vct*.

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! FR Hopes Congress Adjourns j July 15.—Newspaper head!tne. | Wefl, here*s one thing the pre- ; sident and his critics wil! aflree on. ASTROLOGICAL FORECAST In December the transits of Mars square Uranus in the U. S. chart. December promises to be a sad month for the country. ■ So, {io your Cbristmas shopp»ng early. 1939 Slmi!e: As happy as a vacationist when he (or shej re turns to Hawaii. FOOLISH QUESTION No. 9,906 **Do ,vou fhink Hawaii will ever h.'eonu' a statoV" HYMN OF HATE A ehap we hate ls Joe McGrew; He sends out bi!ls Stamped "Lortg Past Due." UNSUNG HEROES BrilHant h">ys avlio write col«mns iike this <»ne, THAT OUGHT TO STQP HIM

<JOOD-BY Tli« siiiv momh of June is past Ami relaxati«.»n ronies at last Froiii iuxe.s, June brides, dumb sehool kids Anil t)iings that put us on the skids. Sur»-. ,vou're a nionm that's ujost uiH-anii}*, Anii vv«t\ ,vear jou get v)ur nanny; Vou icavt> the poor Taspajer hi'oke - You m»uth of June, you are a joke THE EARLY BIRD Alfr«d Mattos, thc Qenial wlndow clerk at the Hilo post offlce, telis this one. it seems a certain Hiio dairy hired a high schoo! student to work durtng vaeation. The youth asked his empioyer wha4 time he had to ®et to work in the and this was the answer he aot; "0h„ any time you like, jes-so's it ain't later'n 3:30 a.m."

iioin'luiu tluil> ut>wg|taī»er I? gJv in« aw*H> iiuyri<>s U) !>chOol kWS. 'l hm s «»K, just so 3oug as lt <l<x?sti't >m<- m\v;(v s« uutny that the cOattty i *HI h»v*» u» whi<Mi the roads to »iak<' nMīui for tbctu. j Wanda Waffletron uyi her dog «es «veryth»BB« He muit be one ! of tKo«e Peek in««e. j f;itnil> owiiB h t»»t (hat t'ats! f»i hj ( Uu? uUlk, * j LUti« Stre*mtir>e» ctl!l lnti»t» ! that «andwiches were inv«nted in the Sandwlch t«lahd«. ! Tli*» t>trss 1» tryUte to keep tlu' 1 liīji t'r»ck«>r friuu jr<»iug oa h bust! ilurfttt; il.i» <vtrih>ratf«u uf F<>unh. i And b«w I«i mtd tlw

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