Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIII, Number 51, 19 April 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

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Senator Hill seei»s to be having prettj- j;ood luok in getting a lot of hīlls passed at tlnis legislature. Howevei\ lt would be most unklnel to infer that he is a Hill Bill-y. Maui Teacher Named Prexy. — r»ewspaper headline. Gosh, some people have the funniest names, LIFE'S DARKEST MOMENT When you eal! un your radio stat'on and want to know wliy your favorite morning program hasn*t ):een p]aved aml you learc that it wūfi pla.vod an hour ago because you have overslept tliat long. Wouldn't it make you feel ?illy? Quite naturally those bandits who robbed a Los Angeles bank . on Easter Monday wili be ciass«d , as Easter yeggs. DESERT POME No. 21 On the wet Kau desert Sits poor Sally Piper: j 'Cause somethingV pone wronc: l With her windshield wiper. j Salvation Army Heads To Hi- j lo.—New<spaper head!l**«. WeM, the flood old S. A. seems ! to be headed towards the rtflht j plaee. . I SOURPUSS SAM SAYS: j

"A portrait is sor»ettii»g whieh īooks Ilke you, and if it floesn't it T 3 good." THE DEVIL WOULO PROBABLY LEAVE

I*v n»ee to own a radio And latest news But it sure giv«s oae a hea<3ache Whnn it phiys those awful "Blues".

And then we have t«> tisten To those tantalizing ads, Some dry sttatistics, eampaign hull, And jroofy, crooning lads. Wh,v can't we have some harmohy, Some soothinft. refraius. Instea<l of jatx aml nlgger $ougs That jrlv«» us Kelien and pains? "Why can't we have real mustc Oa program.'i from the alr, In«tead of bo!lt»r fa<>tor.v Junk Tha< always nmkes us swear? Thos»e wliee«y ffitx<»i'ihones Arp inore than we eftn stand— It oupfht to be ftp«inst t!ie law To have them in the band. But when it oomes to croon songi*. That make us fairly yell - There'«! Just one pln<-e wc'd se»d them And that ts dk»wn to h- ]. DOUBLE BCOTCH UAUOH A Scotchman took a doten ctamt with h?m to the TurkUh b*th »o he cculd fl«t them tteame«J for ««hln®. A pknny a copy Newshoy: 'T!Strj 1 (llafttow Ex j»re*s wre<kei!! Itead «11 abo«t it!" MsrTa\ !Hli: "Ay<». Sandy. | s not Ihaf flu> tr:iiri yo«r wife wai« on?" MarVhers»»n "Ta«, jfus, hut 111 watt fnr il«e la % t editloii, ttitd that wlll hn\e the rarep iu 11, 1 1(M &imllt: Ai mueh #f a »ur I>Hh »• a Thur»dajr aflt>v>ecn w«hsirt rg|rv.

WHCKC CLOTHCI OOUNI

MtU# SJ«*luHh<'Si, Uu' offK-v KKy* »!oo*i mnki- tW uuiu.

but lhey have a lot to do with attractin« hi< aKenUon—wheu wom by n \voumi .

So!dier Beaten By Pair In Kahili,—Newspaper headline. Probab!y a pair of jacks. OH, THOSE NAZI MEN l'oor oUi Mr. Chumborla!n, He's liaving one tough ilnie To keep a \vatehful eyo upon ; Tliis ehap across tho iUiine. » Aud tht>r» 10 ui;ikes iliings worse for him BenitoV on the loose A«d inaking poor Sir Neviilo feel Just like a silly goose._ Adolf he lakes ilio things he \rants, Though fi'lks> ;j.vt Uadly lnirt, Aisd now- eoines Mussolli»l And steals Alhania's shirt. So whlle Sir Ne\ille sweats and stews, And digs more lx">mb proof lioles» Adoirs storm troops will march again And wlpe out all the Poles. BULL-ETIN "i never refuse to buy tickets for benefit shows." UNCOOKED FOOD item on the menu Sn a Hilo restaurant: Sp«clal Today Haif Fried Ohieken Los Angeles woim.n, 77, has just heen married for the uinth time. One or two more matriiuonial ventures and the oiil iad,v oufrlit to niake the front p;ijro of the Angeles newspapers.

1839 Fabie: Or»ce upon a time there was a post office clerk who never put a letter in the wrong hox. Another needed invention is rubber soled uioecasius for iuovie siiow patrous wlio insi.st upou keepiu« time t.o tho UiUsio wilii. tl.oir big feet Wand* Wafilciron'i big brother i» «tudylng to be a bone «peeiaii«t. Weli, he'« got a Qood head for Jt

ASTROLOGICAL FORECAST This is a lueki Uate for baaqueti> and puhlle unHnin;;;, m whioi» dlstli)irulshed iipi'ake app<-ar. T<»o hml the lass part OueMi'i read "difiai>i>ear." Shed a «ait Uar For poor oid 2og; Ht» oeontry w«t lo»t To a bis» gr—dy ho#. snpp£n\ Kaiii m« ,tikiiuii wi>uidu't ae- ! vju Mui»hv>,a.i iMiuaua uii j»> he «,uutl,\ NiipiK-,; unii Es< a.s< pii'iiM', uwil »«•*» w«st*k.

Oi MMUikiikHU ka «ennie c koho tt?«lnn« ft \n Mln .> :ui<\ llm i'< , 's »i" V:» «na 1 m hnna m* Vp Vw1;; «> l.ahaiwOu tw. r» wttil)! 1« tnal k« haawlua («•»» *ni %n»-v i|in fka NiiHni i aU- utcu)t t« t Kn Mhnnlelu T'n l*t) ni«i e Si>nninn II SMv«! * «IhNu "V ititiu atm »■ ' >»<••• '5. . I, , . iM«knhlkn°" "* 1« Hrw ihm< ««uiin* HiU "K k«lv<>w i ll«»ikV t> IM tt»k*