Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIII, Number 49, 5 April 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Aikl ttiere's t!ie ratner stout Hilo wiio has J\ist bought l\evself ;iii Austln fcā had fb reduce her uoiuhl hy 20 pounds b?fore she . i ;;M -(nieeze'herself :into it. SAD STORY On the b!eak, lonely desert Sits poor Percy. Gray; He lost his spare tire Some where on the way. lvH>ert Siiiythe ls Buying īlead. - XewspaL>er heaāline. 'LUile Sireamlmes she has ho;ud i>i people buying hair but this is ti 10 tirst tiuie she ever heard im au\oiie buyiug a new head. We've just heard about a fllrl who remained an o!d ma!d because she cOuld never quit talking Jong enough for any man to \

r.>39 Fa&le~ * Ouoe there was ai: ai:m de;iler who didn't try tō sell > ou a !.ew car before yonr old one sv.*)s puid for. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

if you give some women the worid with a fence around it, they"il turn around and give you the gate. M AN EPjTAPH Here iies tlie body of Williani Jay Wlio died muintaining his right of way; lie wa.s right, dead right, as he gped along, But he's just as dead as if he*s been wrong.

Wanda Waffleiron's big brother has just landed a reai soft job. His job is picking flowers off of century piants.

Uarold Steiu has been naoi««3 t hairutau of the Juulor Fair ot the 22nU Maui Couuty f«ir. Tbe Maui CouoLy baud siioul<i iionor Ulm by l>iai'jug tbe "Steiu Soag,"

Matson Line workers are dcmandina better iivinfi quarters. Why not just let them buhk i?> with the passenfler6? BULL-ETiN ' We teachers are only too glad tu it;iy ivin for our oottages but We ihink $5 a moi>th tOO eheap." Big l6land »enator woyld put • a 2c amu#ement tax on theit«r ticKet«, etc. Make it a nlekle, brother. We haven*t time to go *round hunting for pennie», THOSE SCOTOHMEN ARE hCRE AOAIN

A Soot(].iiiaij .*ia,v ho tlghl, but he*d give his right nnti lo u friecti jprovldUig he had siMthing Ln his hand at the tlrae.

A So(.toliiuiUi i>n<v illbx>ovvr«d litt!e boy Im'. husc: ho*J 1081 a i>onny ln tln> o;<rt; - so lie gave laui a in«tch. WE MUST TRY THJS ONE 80ME TIM£ HARTFORD, Conn. ( March 16 (U.P.,) —Dick Talcott, who work» in the dir«ctoi> departmcnt of th« Southern N«w Ettfl!and T«it;>hon« Co. t teHs this one on him- , - j Arowt«d i t thc middle of th« , nleht to *n»wer thc {n»S#t#nt rtng , ing of hi« ui«j>hon« t th« voic« on th« oth«r «nd of th« wlr« lnqulr- , •** | "Art you *n oWiei*» of the t«l«. , phen« eowp«njtT* j "YH wh*t ean ! «fo for yoyT' ? muffilna « jr*wn, t 4 vl«i«l t«11 m» how H f««l« to | e«t owt ®f at ? o'«tocK in th« ( momma te »n«vy«r th« wrdtra ( pumh*?,** I>*rH«d th« Que«tloner , *• h« b«ng«d th« r«c«īv«r. j HĒARD ON WAIANUtNUt A\x/ *"Of eoum» J>n» r*h'i lw»lh a ¥«; «v«r\thlng ?<•* fcwf" | "K«i, («11 r?i»rat Ji " %

ASTROLOGICAL FORECAST Sedition in india wiil add to the anxieties of the British Empire, whieh will experlence a summer of supreme difficulty. Whieh, of course, will include another hunger strike by Mr. Mahatma Qandhi, THE COMMON NUISANCE

There !? aiways a lot of news that doesn't get in tlie paper, but it is taken care of b.v the Ancient C>rder of 01d Oats. Koko-Nuts pre-m-ius herowith two uiembers of the <irder iu aeuon, by our eaut?id eamei-a. The order lias a large n.tenihersliiii iu overy small town. San Francisco has pui the bee on swing music. Well, that's something to be thankful for. The vibration from this type of music might cause another earthquake. ISBS Simiie: As di.scontented as the cows in Pev<liuau<l the Bulls' pasture. BURN«NG UP THE TYPEWR!TER

t-ittle the office pet, hasn't learned to amoke yet but she is 9etting so speedy wlth her typewriter that it smokes.

Have you heard thnt oue about the Hilo woman whose husband is so ahsent minded that he always forgets their wedding ann!versary, so she reminds him of it every six uionths and gets a present twice a y&kfl

Brig. Geri. Trott is commander ©f the 21 st |nfantry at Schofield Barracks. We should think it *outd be more appropriate for an officer with a name Hke that to be »r» command of a eavairy brigade..