Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIII, Number 39, 25 Ianuali 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

.Mussolini is under normal stature a.s wus Nupoleon—five and a half feet iu height. - i'es, und look what liappened to Nupoleon.

Hu«h, little dog pound, Don't you cry, They'll find a plaee for you By and by. Hilo insuranct man says he w;iuts to Uve to be 113 years old, so he will have a elianee to see the iiew vk>g i>ound buīlt before he <iles. Steady, fellow, hold that wheei, Be carefui how you drive, 'Cause there are many other folk« Who want to stay alive. It's not worth wHile to take a ehanee To save a precious minute, Your friends might have to buy a coffln And maybe put YOU in it, BULL-ETIN i'ni so sorry I got you out of bed at this hour In the morning to au?wer tht telephone." There's- just one th!ng about these automatic telephones we don't like—we can't bawl out eentral whe« we get the wronfl number. Simile: As enjoyable as a pienie at Coconut island on a wet day. MODERN VERSION In the swing The young man'» fancy Lightly turne to Thoughte of love. Radio set>! have almost reached the height of t>t>rfection but we'd like to spe sonie genins invent one that would autouiatically pay !ts own installmenta Some 300,000 insurgent ti<oop» have been attackīng parcelona for several weeks. We hope nothtng has happened to Ferdtns<Rd the Buli. Another ba<!Ty needed invention is a gadget for ra<īi»«s tha( will aut<>ijiatieally shut off crooners and swing ujusic. LIMMER-LICK There was a young fellow named "Boney", Whose title to fame wat qutte phoney, And the rea#o« why J He afway« got \ Was his e*c«llent line of ba!oney. J Oertitln sliippbig interests are bepliiiiiiiK to h<lievo that the CīO !s heeomiiiK morp and more llkē TNT. 1 NEVIfI TBWST HiLO WCATHER|

An everyda> »e*n« frt HHe. Mct<srl#t trying to g«t thr©ugfc the rain tc hl« c«r to «hut thf window» and get tiit umbrts?a. a lloiiuhli- an u».l n rtemoorat ob <:<«■ — Mr. Bu»b aud Mr. H4'U>«s.li. NoW. Jsn't tb«t hell, Busbl

REViS£D VERStON country, "ti» ©f tht*. Sw«et iartd of tltarty, Of th*« I *sng. L*t\<s virh«i« fiur fAthcr» U»r>d ot th« pr!d* 4 From *v«ry maynt*fel «td« Con*« JAZ* AND rV|NO T»l< rs.< «niuii jii r, iu) Tl«rb«»r San' \V.' sho«ui ihien % a*»* Uk« \)*i <Kou\ā be raorc #wrx>i»H at«* f»r n UJiUr , §OUII*U»6 SAM |AYt; ) A« mSM !» il' '<ght !f ! yout meyt* th*t '

ASTROLOQICAL FORECAST Coltefle men and women will be tn demand. Sure, the men ean oet a Job wīth the WPA and the womeh ean get jobs as housemalds. m EllR>tt Roosevelt, eon of th« President, predicts "unprecedented harmony between government and businees." Well, hope it wiU not be the bra&>d of "harmony" that eome» oui of bKnd rad|o program* A guj' we hate !s Johnnie Klemm; He ealls us up At 6:00 SAD STPRY

Little Streamlines, the office vampire, says that Rfter payiog her bills this month all that'S left her purse is a pair of tenolt«f/attd they're dying of starvation.

New Jercey dog catcher was bitten by a rabld dog and died of rabies, wt»ich is how one dog made good on the old adage that every dog hae tii* day, = Wanda Waffleiron says tbere is a limit to everything, except the num. ber of tlnie« you have to crank an outboard uiotor before it wlll start. Dear Koko-Nuts: 1« Littie Streamliues stilt in Hllo?—SubscMber, Say, that gir! isn't etill anywhere. One of the fastect workers in the eounty offic« ie the fellow who Ukes the $S poll tax off your pay eheok. And now to tbe hnanee company ro borrow euough money to paj' the rad»o tai. ONTIL NĒXT WEEK—ALOHA!